And the Funnies:
Three men died and are at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question: "What is Easter?"
The first man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everybody gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful..."
"Wrong!" says St. Peter sternly, and he asks the next man the same question.
The second man replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter shakes his head in disgust, and asks the third man, "What is Easter?"
The third man smiles and looks St. Peter in the eye. "Of course I know what Easter is," he says. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples had the Last Supper and Jesus was later turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans made him wear a crown of thorns and he was hung on a cross and died. He was buried in a cave that was sealed off by a large boulder. Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. And if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for Christmas cards. "I'd like 100 stamps, please", she says.
"What denomination?" asks the post office clerk.
"Oh, for Pete's sake, has it really come to this?" complains the woman. "Well, OK, give me 50 Catholic, 10 Baptist, 20 Lutheran and 20 Presbyterian."