Part 3: "Counterfeit"
You are loved.
I can't possibly make that text any larger, or make its meaning any clearer.
You are loved.
You are beautiful.
You are wonderful.
You were created as God intended, and there is no way you or anyone else can possibly make you more perfect.
Ok, that's a lot to take in, so take a few minutes and think about that.
Possibly, you're now probably thinking about how you AREN'T perfect.
How you've failed.
How you wish you were something more than what you see in yourself.
Striving for perfection is not a bad thing, so long as we understand that God has a plan for each of us, and that He desires for us to grow in our understanding of whatever that plan involves.
I know that you've heard the song "What Makes You Beautiful" before...but have you ever really listened to the lyrics? This version helps us to do just that. Play the video and listen carefully.
You don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm lookin' at you, and I can't believe
You don't know,
You don't know you're beautiful,
That's what makes you beautiful.
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm lookin' at you, and I can't believe
You don't know,
You don't know you're beautiful,
That's what makes you beautiful.
What makes us beautiful in God's eyes is our search for greater meaning, and our desire to help others see their beauty as well.
In His plan for our happiness, God has also included a plan for our relationships, and those relationships hopefully help build us up, and help others to be strengthened as well. This session is all about those relationships and friendships, and how sometimes we seek out false ways of relating to other people.
Nuptial Meaning of the Body
God is love. From this love, we were created, and for this love we are made. To have love, you need three things: you need to have a lover, a beloved, and the relationship between the two.
The Father loves the Son and gives Himself totally to the Son. The Son receives the gift of the Father’s love and reciprocates it back to the Father. The love between them is so profound that it is itself the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. God created man, “male and female He created them,” and inscribed on their bodies the purpose and the capacity to mirror God’s love.
The nuptial meaning of the body means the very design of our body orients us toward a marital (nuptial) relationship. The man is obviously meant for the woman, and the woman for the man. Conjugal love, sex within marriage, mirrors the Trinitarian love of God. It is the mutual gift of self to the beloved and reception of the beloved. It says, with the language of the body, “I give all of me to you, now and forever.”
Priests, religious, and singles also live out the nuptial meaning of the body, but in their own unique way. They give of themselves to the Church and God’s people. Love and communion with others, which mirrors God’s love and communion, is the extraordinary love we were created for and ultimately long for in our relationship with God and/or a Spouse. Unfortunately, hurt and confusion surrounds human sexuality and many of us settle for counterfeits of God’s love.
Types of Love
We use the word “love” to describe our love of all sorts of things. We love Taylor Swift. We love pizza. We love our friends and family. Isn’t this confusing? Don’t we love our friends and family differently than how we love pizza? The Greeks understood that there were different types of love at varying levels of depth. Because of this, they had different words for love: eros, philia, and agape.
Eros is a passionate, emotional, and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. It triggers that ecstatic high of being “in love.” Eros is dangerous because it may not last. It can quickly become more focused on the self rather than the other. If one person no longer feels “in love” than they will stop loving their partner.
Philia is the love between friends. This love can be found in friendships that are built around shared interests like school, sports, or theatre.
Agape is the perfect love of God. It is self-giving love. It seeks the good of the other. We see the ultimate expression of agape love in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Jesus gave His life so that we might live. The love between husband and wife mirrors this love. The spouse’s love each other and give themselves totally to one another. The love of a priest and religious for Christ and the Church also mirrors this love. They love and give themselves totally to Christ and the Church. Agape love is a lasting love. When the feelings of love are gone, the decision to love remains. Agape love is truly extraordinary.
God is love. From this love, we were created, and for this love we are made. To have love, you need three things: you need to have a lover, a beloved, and the relationship between the two.
The Father loves the Son and gives Himself totally to the Son. The Son receives the gift of the Father’s love and reciprocates it back to the Father. The love between them is so profound that it is itself the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. God created man, “male and female He created them,” and inscribed on their bodies the purpose and the capacity to mirror God’s love.
The nuptial meaning of the body means the very design of our body orients us toward a marital (nuptial) relationship. The man is obviously meant for the woman, and the woman for the man. Conjugal love, sex within marriage, mirrors the Trinitarian love of God. It is the mutual gift of self to the beloved and reception of the beloved. It says, with the language of the body, “I give all of me to you, now and forever.”
Priests, religious, and singles also live out the nuptial meaning of the body, but in their own unique way. They give of themselves to the Church and God’s people. Love and communion with others, which mirrors God’s love and communion, is the extraordinary love we were created for and ultimately long for in our relationship with God and/or a Spouse. Unfortunately, hurt and confusion surrounds human sexuality and many of us settle for counterfeits of God’s love.
Types of Love
We use the word “love” to describe our love of all sorts of things. We love Taylor Swift. We love pizza. We love our friends and family. Isn’t this confusing? Don’t we love our friends and family differently than how we love pizza? The Greeks understood that there were different types of love at varying levels of depth. Because of this, they had different words for love: eros, philia, and agape.
Eros is a passionate, emotional, and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. It triggers that ecstatic high of being “in love.” Eros is dangerous because it may not last. It can quickly become more focused on the self rather than the other. If one person no longer feels “in love” than they will stop loving their partner.
Philia is the love between friends. This love can be found in friendships that are built around shared interests like school, sports, or theatre.
Agape is the perfect love of God. It is self-giving love. It seeks the good of the other. We see the ultimate expression of agape love in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Jesus gave His life so that we might live. The love between husband and wife mirrors this love. The spouse’s love each other and give themselves totally to one another. The love of a priest and religious for Christ and the Church also mirrors this love. They love and give themselves totally to Christ and the Church. Agape love is a lasting love. When the feelings of love are gone, the decision to love remains. Agape love is truly extraordinary.
The types of love are not separate, but work together. Best friends have both philia and agape. A marriage has philia, eros and agape. In fact, agape forms eros. It makes eros ordered to the good of the beloved. Lust is a counterfeit of love. It is eros without agape. It seeks to satisfy selfish desires. It is self-take as opposed to self-gift. It turns someone into an object of use for someone else’s pleasure, rather than a person to be loved.
To properly utilize and live out these types of love, we must develop the virtue of chastity. Chastity is the virtue of self-mastery over one’s sexuality. By having self-control, we govern our passions and find peace. It is also through chastity that we train to give ourselves as a total gift to our beloved through conjugal love within the Sacrament of Matrimony or totally to Christ through the priesthood or religious life.
To properly utilize and live out these types of love, we must develop the virtue of chastity. Chastity is the virtue of self-mastery over one’s sexuality. By having self-control, we govern our passions and find peace. It is also through chastity that we train to give ourselves as a total gift to our beloved through conjugal love within the Sacrament of Matrimony or totally to Christ through the priesthood or religious life.
Counterfeit Loves
In today’s world, counterfeit love can take on a variety of forms. It can look like dating relationships that go too far physically or watching movies that include some pretty racy or downright improper images. If you’ve already engaged in counterfeit love, don’t give up hope, because God does not give up on you! God loves you and is calling you to live in His love. If you want to start again, Reconciliation is always available. It is the sacrament of healing. It makes us whole. It also cleanses us from our sin, gives us a new start, and restores our relationship with God.
Living Agape Love Now
We do not have to wait until we are married to experience a certain sense of agape love. The complete giving of ourselves is always reserved for marriage, but we can start learning how to live now with selfless love. The first way we live it is by entering into the life and love of the Most Holy Trinity through prayer. We let God pour His love out on us. Only after we are filled up with God’s love, can we go forth and love others with that same powerful, self-giving love.
Loving others with agape love seeks to support other people. We can live this out by having patience, listening, and giving advice to friends. We can also serve in different capacities like helping at a food kitchen or reading at Mass. Now that you are aware of counterfeits of God’s love, refuse to settle for it. We were created from love, for love, to love. Live and love as you were created. To be extraordinary, we need to be satisfied with the extraordinary—not the ordinary. Agape love is an extraordinary way of loving and being loved.
Living Agape Love Now
We do not have to wait until we are married to experience a certain sense of agape love. The complete giving of ourselves is always reserved for marriage, but we can start learning how to live now with selfless love. The first way we live it is by entering into the life and love of the Most Holy Trinity through prayer. We let God pour His love out on us. Only after we are filled up with God’s love, can we go forth and love others with that same powerful, self-giving love.
Loving others with agape love seeks to support other people. We can live this out by having patience, listening, and giving advice to friends. We can also serve in different capacities like helping at a food kitchen or reading at Mass. Now that you are aware of counterfeits of God’s love, refuse to settle for it. We were created from love, for love, to love. Live and love as you were created. To be extraordinary, we need to be satisfied with the extraordinary—not the ordinary. Agape love is an extraordinary way of loving and being loved.