Building the Relationship One on One - continued...

Communication is a revelatory process.
As you and your candidate prepare for Confirmation and look forward to continuing the faith journey together afterwards, you will be sharing about yourselves. Your sharing communicates trust in the young person and a willingness to share your personal vulnerability.

• In your regular contact with your candidate, share your feelings. This can be as simple as telling him or her how you feel, and relating the various experiences of the day or week and how they have impacted you. Since these are your feelings, use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. A simple and very effective formula is "I feel (felt)... when... because..."
• Express gratitude to your candidate for listening to your story. Let him or her know that it makes a difference to you that you were able to share. "Thanks for listening. It's great to be able to talk with you about my day."
• Be present in an active way to your candidate's story. This implies that you accept him or her "as is," you listen attentively, and you do not pass judgment on what is shared.  This means that you "seek first to understand, then to be understood." Active, revelatory communication also implies that you offer suggestions but not advice. Remember, your candidate is sharing who they are with you. You also thank your candidate for sharing with you.  It is an honor to enter into life's story with a young person.  

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