would be smooth sailing. In fact, it was just the opposite. We are promised that we will suffer and carry crosses, sometimes very heavy ones, but that, through our vocation, we will receive the graces necessary to carry those crosses.

              I can’t help but think of Mary. When the angel Gabriel came to her to tell her of God’s will for her, she said “yes” without knowing what she was saying “yes” to, just like when married couples say “I do.” Remember, Mary’s intent was to remain a virgin, so she chose to forgo having children in the first place. She did not know what raising the Son of God would entail and she certainly couldn’t foresee the intense suffering she would watch her Son endure which, in turn, caused her own intense suffering.  The best she got early on in this process was a prophecy from Simeon telling her that a sword would pierce her heart (Luke 2:34-35). Despite all of the uncertainty ahead of her, she exhibited the virtue of perfect Faith and trusted God enough to give her fiat, no matter what unknown sufferings would lie ahead for her. That is exactly the virtuous response we are called to in marriage.

                I have a book called The Cana Rosary,by Christopher Ebberwein, which contains rosary reflections for married couples. Sometimes my husband and I pray it together and sometimes I pray it alone for us. I want to share a paragraph from the reflection on the Scourging of Jesus because it really hones in on the heart of what we are called to in the vocation of marriage:

              You see, the world’s idea of marriage is much different from our Catholic view of the vocation of marriage. The world tells you to seek out happiness for yourself and if you are no longer happy, move on. However, if happiness is our ultimate goal for a pursuit such as marriage, then we’ll all fail sooner or later. The goal of marriage should not necessarily be happiness – though you can certainly seek and have happiness. Rather, the goal is to use our crosses and offer up redemptive suffering to seek the ultimate good for our spouse which is eternal happiness in heaven. We also accept these crosses in order to grow in our own virtue for the sake of our own redemption. 

              The final key ingredient in a successful Catholic marriage, as mentioned in the reflection, is God’s grace. You may not have known to what you were saying “I do,” but God certainly knew and He asked you to trust Him and take that leap of faith anyway – just like He asked Mary – while promising to be with us every step of the way. Any one of the possible scenarios mentioned earlier that could be encountered in marriage is enough to push anyone over the edge. And if you are enduring more than one of those scenarios at any given moment, forget it. Our humanity just can’t handle it. We can only endure suffering like that with the help of God’s grace. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). If we are going to successfully and virtuously live out our vocation of marriage, we absolutely MUST invite God into it and accept the grace he offers us through the suffering that comes along with it.

                    8:15 AM     Holy Mass - St. Gabriel Parish Chapel

                                      32648 N. Cave Creek Road, Cave Creek, AZ. 85331

                    9:00 AM     Brunch + Learn

                                      Speaker:  Rachel's Vineyard (Karen Ord)

                                      Parish Tour Available

                                      Bring a pot-luck item to share!)