Healthy/Unhealthy Guilt
Thus says the LORD: Return, O Israel, to the LORD, your God; you have collapsed through your guilt. Take with you words, and return to the LORD; Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity, and receive what is good, that we may render as offerings the bullocks from our stalls. (Hosea 14:2-3)
Have you ever collapsed through your guilt”? All depends on the formation of your conscience—well-formed conscience, mal-formed conscience, or dead conscience. "Guilt" can be defined as remorse for having committed some offense or wrong, real or imagined, in thoughts, words, or actions. Guilt says, “You did a bad thing. You should have done this, not that.” It motivates change, and although it stings a bit, it leads toward humility, it’s a prerequisite for repentance and leads to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession). There are 2 kinds of guilt: healthy vs unhealthy.
Guilt can be thought of as healthy if it does three things:
First, if it alerts you to potential threats to your integrity (and, by extension, your self-esteem).
Second, and even more importantly, guilt is healthy if it motivates you to take some concrete actions to address the offense to your integrity (and, by extension, your self-esteem). The function of guilt isn’t really to make you feel bad. Its function is to help you do something to fix a problem that poses a threat to your healthy functioning.
Third, to be healthy, guilt should decrease as you work to resolve the threat to your integrity.
Guilt, by contrast, becomes unhealthy if… 1) it is free-floating and not tied to specific offenses to your integrity. 2) it doesn’t motivate you to take any action. Unhealthy guilt is just happy to make you feel awful about yourself without giving you anything to do about it. 3) it doesn’t decrease once you’ve addressed the perceived offense. (Blog Posted on May 2, 2014 by www.catholiccounselors.com staff)
Have mercy on me, God, in accord with your merciful love; / in your abundant compassion blot out my transgressions. / Thoroughly wash away my guilt; / and from my sin cleanse me. / For I know my transgressions; / my sin is always before me. / Against you, you alone have I sinned; / I have done what is evil in your eyes / So that you are just in your word, / and without reproach in your judgment. (Psalms 51: 3-6)
Return to God with all your heart, the source of grace and mercy;
Come seek the tender faithfulness of God
Now the time of grace has come, the day of salvation;
Come and learn now the way of our God. (Refrain)
I will take your heart of stone and place a heart within you,
A heart of compassion and love. (Refrain)
If you break the chains of oppression,
If you set the pris'ner free;
If you share your bread with the hungry,
Give protection to the lost;
Give shelter to the homeless,
Clothe the naked in your midst,
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn. (Refrain)
Words & Music: Marty Haugen (b. 1950)
Peace always,
Father Vincent-Vuong Nguyen