Pietro Ottoboni was born in Venice in 1610, the son of Marco Ottoboni, grand chancellor of the Republic of Venice. He was a bright student, earning doctorates in canon and civil law from the University of Padua at just 17 years old. Pietro then served under Pope Urban VIII in multiple capacities until Innocent X made him a cardinal in 1652. He quietly served as Bishop of Brescia for ten years, then moved on to the Sees of Sabina (1681) and Frascati (1683).

King Louis XIV thought he’d pull a fast one by arranging for the nearly 80-year-old Alexander VIII’s election, hoping to gain a coerced ally as his world was crumbling. The joke was on Louis, though, because Alexander wasted little time condemning Gallicanism, Louis’ heretical attempt to distance France from the authority of the Church. Alexander was eager to help his native Venice in their fight against the Turks, and during his short papacy he also enriched the Vatican Library with manuscripts bought from Queen Christina of Sweden. He was a generous guy, giving copiously to both the poor and (to the chagrin of many) to his own relatives. Alexander died after a papacy of just 16 months and later had a magnificent tomb in St. Peter’s commissioned by his nephew, Cardinal Ottoboni.

Fun Fact: Part of Alexander’s papacy was spent dealing with a subtle but crucial idea known as “philosophic sin.” The theory, put forth by a pair of French Jesuits, was essentially an attempt (perhaps subconsciously) to create a moral structure apart from God -- that a sin committed while one was ignorant of the existence of God couldn’t actually offend God, nor warrant eternal punishment. Alexander said (probably) “Thank you, come again,” and slapped a condemnation on the belief in 1690.

A Neopolitan by birth, Antonio Pignatelli was well-educated in his youth and employed by Pope Urban VIII by the age of 20. He spent time in Malta as an inquisitor before being ordained a priest, then moved on to become a bishop in 1652 and nuncio to Poland in 1660. A nunciature in Austria followed that in 1668. He was named a cardinal in 1681, and was moved for the final time five years later, being tapped to serve as Archbishop of Naples.

Only the Roman summer heat could kick the cardinals in the pants enough to elect a successor to Alexander VIII. The bickering French and Spanish electors couldn’t agree on Cardinal Gregory Barbarigo -- later named a saint, btw -- so they eventually settled on Innocent XII, who took his name to honor Innocent XI, the man who'd made him a cardinal and by whose policy Innocent XII wished to form his own pontificate.

Innocent XII started by abolishing nepotism officially, with the bull Romanum decet Pontificem. FINALLY. All the cardinals had to take an oath to follow the new decree, and (miraculously) they all complied. Another key act by Innocent was condemning the heresy of Quietism -- a form of mysticism that encouraged abandoning the will (never a good thing) -- and doubling down on Jansenism to boot. Innocent ruled for more than nine years and died on September 27, 1700.

Though it wouldn’t happen until after his death, Innocent XII played a key part in the lead-up to the infamous War of Spanish Succession. The basis for the war was King Charles II of Spain, the last of the Habsburgs, having no heir. Charles, it turned out, was the final and tragic fruit of massive inbreeding among the Habsburgs, who had sunk to such lows to keep their wealth in the family. Charles’ mom and pop were also technically his first cousin and great-uncle, respectively. Too far, Habsburgs.

Anyway, Charles was severely delayed, not speaking until age 4 nor walking until age 8. One can imagine the quality of his rule. The situation put strain on the rest of Catholic Europe, so Innocent meanwhile was juggling tense relations with Emperor Leopold I of Austria and the French interests, not to mention also trying to diminish Protestant influence in Europe. When Charles willed that the grandson of Louis XIV, a Frenchman, take his kingdom following his death in 1700, a war ensued soon afterward.

Fun Fact: Pope Innocent XII is the last pope in Church history to have been bearded. Not much of a fun fact. Sad, really.