Start by watching the videos:
Pornography Help Resources Shared with the Teens Tonight:
Fightthenewdrug.org
Fast-facts and the science behind the addiction of pornography in simple, easy-to-understand terms, as well as videos, blogs, and links. They have TONS of resources and are widely considered a top resource on this topic.
Leaveporn.com
A simple Catholic site FILLED with videos and blogs from various Catholic speakers and blogs
Victory (Free App)
Helps with a battle plan for Freedom in the Struggle Against Pornography - Small reflections & content, prayer requests, check-in/accountability, calendar tracker. (Also available in book form at shop.lifeteen.com)
Search ‘Matt Fradd Pornography’
Matt has some fantastic videos and talks for teens about this important issue. You can also check out his YouTube channel for other videos and topics.
Search ‘Kelsey Skoch Pornography’
Kelsey has done multiple podcasts with both Catching Foxes and the Catholic Feminist, as well as co-wrote a book (“Uncompromising Purity”) about women and porn addiction.
IntegrityRestored.com
A solid site for families in accountability and understanding how porn effects family and development.
Before Souperbowl of Caring weekend, we explored love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful and how marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love for us.
- Christ’s love is free – we do not deserve it nor can we earn it.
- Christ’s love is total – Christ gives us everything and wants all of us in return.
- Christ’s love is faithful – Christ never stops pursuing us even when we turn away from him.
- Christ’s love is fruitful – through the sacraments we receive new life and God’s love bears fruit in our lives.
Tonight, we looked at ways in which sexuality can be 'distorted' in various ways that leave a void of a true and lasting love. The Church teaches that sex before marriage is a sin. This is “what” we believe and what we teach our children. But “why” is it a sin?
Is it free? (Yes, if both people agree to it without any outside pressure.)
Is it total? (No, you’re withholding the promise to stay faithful.)
Is it faithful? (No, because the commitment is not “until death do us part.”)
Is it open to life? (That depends on if contraception is used. Probably not.)
Sex before marriage is not free, total, faithful, and fruitful. It is a distortion of love that sends a confusing and painful message. “I like you enough to have sex with you. But I don’t want to give all of me to you and I don’t want to make any commitment to you. I just want to use you and I am ok with being used by you in the process.”
We also hear that the Church teaches that pornography and masturbation is wrong while others sources inform us that masturbation is a healthy and normal part of adolescent development.
Thankfully, we have studies that reveal the truth. In short, pornography has an addictive nature. Individuals need an ever-increasing dosage to get the same level of gratification. This leads to individuals looking at more pornography and pornographic behavior that is increasingly more distorted. This affect the user’s behavior and they find themselves getting aroused by things that used to disgust them or things that go against what they think is morally right.
This information can be substantiated by studies at fightthenewdrug.org. We encourage you to check it out.
Science and reason understand pornography and masturbation to be harmful. Let’s examine why the Church also understands it to be harmful?
Is it free? (Yes or no. It could be an addiction. It could be a free choice.)
Is it total? (No. Masturbation is all about self-pleasure, never about self-gift.)
Is it faithful? (No. No commitment is made. There is no one to be committed to.)
Is it open to life? (No.)
We are not discussing these sensitive topics with your teens in order to bring forth shame. As with you, we want what is best for them. We want them to have happy and healthy dating relationships that will lead to holy and blessed vocations. Our hope is that when your teens are tempted, they will know the “why” behind the “what” and be able to resist.
Jesus has a plan for all of us to love and be fully loved. We need to believe and remind our children that when we fall, Jesus does not turn away from us but rather, calls us to Him in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He forgives us our shortcomings and guides us towards healing.
There are some practical steps we can take to help our teens fight temptations:
- Put a filter on their computers or phones to help control access to pornography. Check out covenanteyes.com
- Talk to your teens about the Church’s teachings on sex and help them to set boundaries for themselves and their relationships. These can be awkward conversations, but they are necessary.
- Establish a prayer time when, as a family, you can pray for purity.
Reflection/Family Discussion:
- Parents: Have I made myself available to talk with my teens about sex, love, and pornography? How did that go?
- Have we taken any steps as a family to protect and encourage our home away from sexual distortions or temptations?
- Have we allowed any music or movies into our home that do not mirror Christ's reflection of love? Do we take the time to discuss such media as a family so that again, everyone can understand the 'why' of what is being depicted?