Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”  John 13:21

It’s very important to note here that Jesus was “deeply troubled.”  This shows His humanity.  Jesus had a human heart and loved Judas with a divine love through His human heart.  As a result of this perfect love of Judas, Jesus’ heart was deeply troubled.  It was “troubled” in the sense that Jesus could do nothing more than He had already done to change the mind and heart of Judas.  It’s not that Jesus was personally offended or angered by Judas’ betrayal.  Rather, it’s that Jesus’ heart burned with a deep sorrow at the loss of Judas whom He loved with a perfect love.

Judas had free will.  Without free will Judas could not freely love Jesus.  But with free will, Judas chose to betray Jesus.  The same is true with us.  We have free will and we are given the same ability that Judas had to accept the love of Jesus or to reject it.  We can let His loving gift of salvation and grace enter our lives or refuse it.  It’s 100% up to us.

Holy Week is an ideal time to seriously contemplate the road you are on.  Each and every day of your life you are invited by God to choose Him with all your might and love.  But, like Judas, we so often betray Him by our refusal to enter Holy Week with Jesus, embracing His Cross as ours.  We so often fail to give completely of our lives in a sacrificial and generous way, as our Lord did that Holy Week.

Reflect, today, upon the love Jesus had for Judas.  It was His love for Judas, more than Judas’ sin, that brought so much pain to Jesus’ Heart.  If Jesus didn’t love him, the rejection would not have hurt.  Reflect, also, on the love Jesus has for you.  Ponder whether or not His Heart is also troubled as a result of the actions in your life.  Be honest and do not make excuses.  If Jesus is troubled in any way as a result of your actions and choices this is no reason to despair as Judas did.  Rather, it should be the cause of rejoicing that you are aware of your weakness, sin and limitation.  Turn that over to Jesus who loves you more than you love yourself.  Doing this will bring your heart much consolation and peace.  And it will also bring much consolation and peace to the Heart of our Divine Lord.  He loves you and is waiting for you to come to Him this Holy Week.

My dear suffering and rejected Lord, I do love You but I also know that I cause Your Heart to be troubled by my betrayal.  Help me to see my sin honestly this Holy Week.  In seeing it, may I let go of that which keeps me from loving You more deeply, so as to walk with You to the Cross to share in Your glorious triumph.  Jesus, I trust in You.